I'm embarking on a new personal journey, I think. Over the last few weeks, I've noticed that my attitude is generally negative and down-beat. I've been tired, grumpy, short-tempered, and jittery. Mentally and physically something has to change, so I've made a decision to turn things around and start 2013 with a new perspective.
"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift."
I'm going to try to see the positive more than the negative. I'm going to focus on what I've been blessed with rather than what I don't have, or what is hindering me. I typically assume the problems and baggage of other and place it on my shoulders to ease their "pain" - but this prevents me from living my life and seeing things clearly. Things go from being a continuum to a strict black/white world with no room for error. Do it long enough, and you start to wonder where your identity has gone...if you dropped it to make room for more baggage. But you can't go looking for, because you're already carrying too much.
Enough is enough.
So last night I got the ball rolling again. After shoveling the driveway (seems never-ending this year) I hopped on the bike for a long-overdue spin. Nothing major, just a come-on-heart-remember-this kind of ride for 45min. Not as easy as it was before, but it felt good to do it again.
I hung my Ironman Mont Tremblant poster in the workout room, right where I can see it on the right side of the television. The left side of the television is flanked with my Ironman and marathon medals, and a medal from a sprint triathlon where I unknowingly had the flu - perhaps the toughest race to finish yet. All of it is in plain sight to remind me of what I've succeeded in, and what I've been able to work through (rather than work around).
I read my hard-copy of this motivational speech that really hits home for me. I read this or watched it almost daily when I was training for the Ironman last year, and it helped me do what needed to be done. I'm hoping it continues to motivate me to success this year once again.
I started core strength again. I reset the 100 Pushups and 200 Situps apps in my iPod Touch and did the base test for pushups (I plan to alternate days). 12 - not many, but more than I could do when I started last year. And considering my weight as "blossomed" up to 206lbs after the holidays, I've kept more strength than I thought.
I'm going to encourage more family activities - indoors and out. Game nights, snow days, bike rides - anything to enjoy more family time and make more memories. My daughter's going to be 9 this summer...it goes so fast. My wife and I will be celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary this year, and I want at least 20 years more with her - and I want them to be fun for both of us.
I'm not looking to redefine myself this year. Far from it. Instead, I just want to be a better person, a better husband, a better father. That's my goal.
And yes, I've started that journey.