I'm trying, I really am. I did get that run in last week - the one I said I'd do finally. It was awesome - strapped the headphones on with some harder beats and pushed it the whole loop. Felt great! Loved it.
But now the days are shorter, the dark comes out sooner, and the evenings are cooler. When there's warm food, a soft couch, and your family in the house, it's gets pretty damned tough to step away from that for a run.
I'm loving the family time, the changes in our lives that we continue to share, the time spent together. We're at a beautiful time in our lives.
And that's why there's no rush to get out and run.
Even so, I want back in. I miss training now. And after watching the Ironman World Championships on NBC last weekend - which meant I relived Ironman Mont Tremblant over the course of 90 minutes - I want to do another. The drive and determination is coming back. I want more.
I suspect that this is like The Forbidden Fruit - you want what you can't have. I've put other things in front of running and training - and I've done that happily, without regret. But that has stirred the desire to swim/bike/run again. And I've finally tossed my 10 year old cycling shoes (they were classified as a biohazard) and now I cannot bike - which makes me really want to bike.
Humans are funny creatures. Having conscious minds makes them even funnier. :)
I just keep trying. Just keep restarting. And that's what's important. I may never do another Ironman, or another marathon, or even another race. But I can always step out that door for a run. Or hit the trainer for a ride (well, when I get new shoes). And that I'll always have.
And who knows - I might have it tonight. :)