But the training fell onto the backburner (actually, it fell right off the stove). My wife and I did a base-building spin on Friday night, and that was it. Saturday and Sunday dissolved into the ether, with me and my body feeling like it was hit by a truck. Aches, stiffness, lots of fatigue, no energy. I was a little "wierded out" by it all. So I decided to just "go with the flow" and do what I felt like - whatever it was.
So no training occurred this weekend. I'm not disappointed by this, but deep down I feel guilty (not sure why or for whom these feelings exist for). I'm starting to think that my training is being driven less by fear (the "I've got to do this or I won't finish" kind of fear) than before, and I'm willing to accept things better. Sure, it makes for less training, but it also makes for less stress in the rest of my life, and that's a good thing.
But on the flip side, it's showing just how much more work I need in doing the training at other opportunities. I could have woken up early on Saturday and get the run in, but I was more interested in sleeping. Hell, I could do that any day of the week, but don't (I love my sleep...perhaps too much). I could run in the rain and cold again, but that would suck. I could push myself harder and excel more, but I don't. I'm sabotaging myself most days, like I don't believe that I'm capable, or that I'm worth it.
And while I'm a "weekend warrior" of sorts (aka not a professional, or even a high-ranking age grouper), I still find that to be a convenient excuse more often than not. I'm more than happy to complain about my +2hr half-marathon time, my tired and achy body after a hard workout, or just how damned tired I am (sound familiar?). Quite frankly, I'm a whiny kid in a 37yr old body. And at this time of the year, I've become a fair-weather runner/cyclist - that doesn't bode well for Spring in Ottawa.
On this morning's bus ride in, I reflected on all this and told myself to just "do what you've got to do." My wife and my father have mottos similar to this as well - "It is what it is." I'm going to try to put this into practice with training (and other parts of my life) and try to get over this slump I seem to be in (in other words, make that inner whiny kid grow up a bit).
Fast forward to noon, where I'm applying this principle for today's run. It's just barely above the freezing mark, with rain and snow blowing around outside - not the most appealing situation, but a running opportunity nonetheless. I grab my bag, head to the change room, unpack my gear...
...and realize I didn't pack any bottoms.