Thursday, 20 November 2008

Crap Sandwiches

Run:  7.5km @ 44min

What a difference a couple of days makes.  This week started fresh and exciting, with my wife returning from a trip, the closure of a successful training week, and a desire to tackle anything that came in my way.

Then things seemed to pile up, as if it were a plan against me.  

The worst of it all is that both my wife and daughter are sick, and I feel helpless in helping them - it feels like I can't do anything more to make it easier.  My daughter's on her third prescription this week, and we're all hoping it's gonna do the trick.  My wife is almost painfully hoarse, and I know that she's tired and feeling like crap - thankfully she's one tough chic that can hold her own (and then some).

Then add in the frustrations of a Home Depot custom-order return/refund that finally ended today after three months of incompetence.  I was very surprised that the pickup guys actually showed up, and even more surprised that I got all my cash back (even the delivery charges).

And if that wasn't enough, events at work got strange, stressful and very confusing.  A simple miscommunication lead to a near-explosion, lost faith, and feelings that I should consider new options.  In this case, I'm very happy for keeping solid and level-headed.  I never pointed fingers, laid blame or lost it.  I kept calm, asked fair but direct questions to get my point across, and (thankfully) was vocally backed-up by some of my coworkers.  That last part helps me feel better, because it's obvious that others agree with me.  But I know that there's a loss of trust, and none of it is my fault, nor justified.

It's been a very, very long time since I've felt stress like this.  I really forgot what it was like and how to deal with is appropriately.  I did remember at the right times, however, but it's certainly affected me at work, at home and obviously with training.

So tonight, after thinking about what happened, and what didn't, I can confidently say that I dealt with the issues appropriately and fairly.  I accepted criticisms, raised proper questions, phrased statements appropriately, and am confident in what I did.  At work, my ducks are in order, I'm still there, and I'm still valued.  But I need to reflect on my goals and desires, and what the company can still offer (no thanks to the economic downturn, it won't be a raise).

At home, I need to remember that I can't do everything, even when I want to.  But I can do what's needed, and I can be there when I'm needed - just like I always have.  The sickness will leave, and normalcy will return (if there is such a thing in a family).

I often joke that you have to have bad days in order to have good days, and for me I tend to get one bad one every month.  After the last couple of days, I think I'm ready for a few months of good days.

Sorry for the vent, and thanks for reading.

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